Rosie's Revenge
by Sirius Ravenclaw
Summary: The crew of the Christa takes in a Uranusian girl whose ship is damaged, and she establishes a relationship with Bova. Which doesn't sit too well with Rosie...


A/N: Greetings, fellow Casers! 'Tis I, Sirius Ravenclaw, the Flame Queen! Okay, okay, not really...but it does sound snappy. You all probably know me from my attempt at HP fanfiction (within the first 1/2 hour of posting it, I got so many flames I had to take it down. They threatened to reprot me for putting it in the wrong category, the evil Death Eaters!) Anyway, I'm MUCH better at SC fanfic, and if you don't feel like reading it here then read it on Kestrel's fanfic site. It's there too.   
  
Disclaimer: do we really need one? Herb Scannell still owns it, but let's face it, he doesn't give a crap about it anymore.   
  
  
Warlord Sloss paced the halls of his tiny ship. He couldn't afford a killcruiser…he wasn't really even a warlord, he just called himself one to impress his foes (he didn't have many … most people didn't want to bother with him and preferred better enemies like Warlord Shank or at the very least Warlord Geoff.) His crew consisted of his wife, Rosila (Rosie, if you're reading this, don't get mad…I just figured it would be funny) and … well, he used to have an android, Clefa (Cheap-o Lame Excuse For an Android) but her system overloaded one day when he asked to perform the incredibly complex task of walking his faithful cyber-dog, Puddles, and she had thrown herself out the airlock. So, his crew consisted of Rosila and Puddles. If only he could blow something up…Warlord Sloss loved blowing things up, it made such a lovely noise and was fun to watch, too. So, when a strange ship of unknown design passed by, Warlord Sloss was overjoyed. He got out his supply of dynamite (unlike the high-class warlords, he couldn't afford anything high-tech and so had to settle for good old-fashioned TNT) and focused it on the ship. But he was interrupted by a hailing signal. He played it (his ship didn't have a viewscreen.) "Uh…hi out there. Whoever you are…my ship's kinda…dead in space, and I need a place to make repairs. Can you help?" It sounded like a young girl. Uranusian, by the telltale monotone of the voice. Warlord Sloss hissed in annoyance. What did the stupid Rigellian take him for? He hit the "respond" button.   
  
"Ssssssss! Warlord Sloss does not help Uranusians, Mercurians, Saturnians, Earthers, Neptunians, Plutonians, Charonians…" Warlord Sloss listed as many races as he could think of, and would have made up a few for effect, but the girl cut him off.   
  
"I figured as much. I'll just wait for some other ship…not like one will come until it's too late, I'll have run out of oxygen…or starved…or maybe my dead engines will decide to explode…no matter what happens, I'll be killed anyway. Byani out…" Warlord Sloss hissed. Byani…! yes, that was a Uranusian name. He could easily blow her up…   
  
Warlord Sloss ran to his window (which happened to be a hole from a torpedo blast covered in cellophane, but he wouldn't admit that to the other warlords) and caught a glimpse of the Uranusian's ship. It was quite small, even smaller than his own. It would barely make a decent noise, and would be sufficient for a fireworks display but not much else. He decided to leave the ship alone and wait for something bigger to come along. But this sector of space was fairly empty, and a good ship wouldn't come along for a while. Warlord Sloss kicked in his engines (which were held together with shoelaces, paperclips and planarian-flavored bubble gum) and sped off toward a different sector. Well, "sped off" in his opinion…it was actually at a rather slow speed, but compared to what his ship usually did, it was speeding. Byani sat patiently in her tiny craft, waiting for her inevitable (in her humble Uranusian opinion) death.   
  
  
  
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"Commander Goddard, we're receiving a message!" Rosie's sunny smile became even more happy as she thought of who it might be. They might even be able to make friends with the person! What a lovely thought! "Put it on screen, Rosie." Rosie cheerfully complied. The wall swirled away to reveal a Uranusian girl. The primitive Earth devices she wore on her eyes (Rosie tried to remember what they were called…glasses, that was it) made the crew stare. The girl looked to be about Bova and Rosie's age, maybe a bit younger…twelve ESY, perhaps. She didn't look much like Bova, though…a shoulder-length mop of tangled brown hair, blue-green eyes…back in Yensid, Catalina winced. Her hair had been like that once…nearly impossible to manage. Still, she thought, maybe she'll grow out of it, or get smart and buy a wig like I did. (A/N: This is just a stupid story and I'm only writing it for a joke, so Cat-fans, don't get mad at me. I like Cat too.) Bova simply stared. He had never seen such a beautiful girl.   
  
The message played through, but Goddard had conveniently forgotten to un-mute the communications system after he'd been tinkering with the controls the night before. "Rosie, un-mute it and replay it, please." Rosie smiled sunnily (is that a word?) and did so.   
  
"Hi…my ship's kind of…dead in space, and the last guy I encountered refused to help me, and I'm probably going to die anyway…" Byani listed all the possible hazards she might encounter if they left her stranded in space. She trailed off as she noticed the boy slouched at the tactical station. He was, by far, the cutest guy she had ever seen in her short life. She stared at him for a few seconds before remembering her mission. "Oh yeah. Let's see, where was I…my ship could get sucked into a black hole, my engines could explode, I could starve to death…"   
  
Goddard cut her off with a wave of his hand. STARDOG policy insisted on helping any ships that might be in distress, he knew that. But could he really stand to have two Uranusians on the ship? Bova was bad enough, but this girl seemed even worse.   
  
Byani noticed his failure to respond. "I thought so. You're not going to help me, are you? Why do I bother…"   
  
The viewscreen swirled into blackness. Bova stared at the blank screen, his mind numb. "Commander Goddard, we have to help her!" he cried, momentarily dropping his apathetic façade.   
  
Goddard groaned. Wonderful, he thought, just terrific. How could he explain to his Uranusian student that the only reason he was hesitant to let Byani on the ship was because he simply didn't think his sanity (which was already strained to the disappearing point) could withstand two Uranusians on the ship? He had no choice. "Miss Ianni, open up a communications channel. Tell her we'll let her on board."   
  
Rosie was overjoyed. The girl looked about her age, they could be friends! Sure, the girl was Uranusian, but so was Bova, and Rosie had become friends with him, hadn't she? She snuck a quick glance at Bova, but he was staring too hard at the screen to notice her.   
  
The communications link was established, and Byani appeared once more on the screen. Goddard felt as though he should offer an explanation as to why they hadn't responded immediately the last time, but could think of nothing. "Er…ahem. We'd be glad to help. Just land your ship in our docking bay."   
  
Byani couldn't help but feel suspicious. If he was so glad to help, why hadn't he responded the first time? Still, though Uranusians were apathetic, cynical and pessimistic by nature, they had a degree of politeness. "Thank you." she replied shortly. She snuck another quick glance at the adorable Uranusian boy at the tactical station. He was staring at her as well. Do I have a zit or something? Byani wondered vaguely. Why is he staring at me?   
  
Bova noticed the Uranusian girl staring at him. Do I have food on my shirt or something? he thought.   
  
Goddard cleared his throat. "Erm…what's your name?" he asked. Smooth, Goddard, he thought. Real smooth.   
  
The girl didn't answer for a minute. She was staring at something to the left of him. She snapped back to reality. "Uh…Byani. My name's Byani."   
  
Bova sighed dreamily. Byani…what a beautiful name, he thought.   
  
The communications link was cut. Byani steered her craft into the docking bay of the strange birdlike ship. What have I gotten myself into this time?   
  



End file.
